i don’t get you at all. but i know that i have feelings for you. they’re deep. i don’t know how deep but i don’t care. i admit, i am drunk as of the moment but hey, this words are as fuckin’ true as can be. i don’t know how to act anymore. everything feels like a rock concert. loud and heavy. but only i can hear it. i don’t know what you’ve done but you sure are good at it. i’ve never been on drugs but i guess this is as close as i get to becoming high. i already am. this isn’t like anything i’ve ever felt before. this is ecstatic. tears want to fall but what the fuck is wrong?! as far as i know nothing is but you want complication and somehow i want it too. deep inside my soul is screaming. have i gone insane? i’d admit if i am crazy but this is different. this is madness, only with a sense of beauty. it’s painful too, because there is uncertainty. fuck it. i hate uncertainty. i want to be sure of something before i give my everything. but even knowing something for a certain is not good enough this time. i’ve never sworn this bad in any blog i’ve ever written. fuck. there. i’ve sworn again. and frankly, i don’t give a damn. i’m not even wondering why. i just fuckin’ miss him…
i can’t believe i’m in this situation. come to think of it, i’ve never really been in love if being in love means missing someone this bad. this is it. this is the very first time ever. i wanna cry every minute, wait, every second he’s not around. this is worse than i ever thought. and can i just say fuck? fuck! each time i listen to the songs that remind me of him i can only say that one word. fuck! i can’t help but miss him! fuck! fuck! fuck! excuse the language. but yeah, fuck!
